


Growing up together

by insertfandomname



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Female Bucky Barnes, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 16:49:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 8,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1948773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertfandomname/pseuds/insertfandomname
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snippets from the life of Steve and Bucky from the first meeting until the train in the Alps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not-Beta read!
> 
> Not sure where I'm going with this and if anyone is interested in reading this, but the lack of female!Bucky is tragic.

When he manages to get his breathing relatively back under control Steve sees that he's not the only one crouching on the sidewalk. The boy who was kicking the air out of him is now kneeling beside him holding his face in his hands. The blood that dribbles through his fingers indicates a broken nose.

The second thing he sees are two scrapped knees peeking from under the seam of a yellow skirt.

The other two boys continue to do what they do best. Standing around and look imposing. Not that the girl seems impressed by it. Why would she? If she's the one that punched the other boy to the floor. The cracking of their knuckles only result in an eye-roll from her. Besides him the boy stopped groaning and looks up angrily. She can't be much older than them and doesn't show any signs of being trouble. But the other boy has to see something Steve doesn't, because the next moment he addresses Steve.

“You need a girl to fight for you?”

He feels himself blushing.

“Shut up, Billy!” For good measure she kicks a stone that hits the boy's, apparently Billy's, leg. “Or do you want the whole block to know that it was a girl who broke your nose? I'm sure your brother's would love this story.”

The posture of the three boys changes immediately. Struggling to his feet he sends her an angry glare before they turns.

“Oh, come on, Billy. Don't be like that,” she calls after them. “I won't tell that you went down crying after one punch.”

“Keep your mouth shut!”

Laughing she turns her attention to Steve. “Everything good?”

“I didn't need your help.”

Her smile grows even bigger. “Well, that's a funny way to say thank you.”

Not waiting for Steve's apology, she reaches for his arm and pulls him to his feet. His mama did raise him to be nice to girls. Unfortunately she never mentioned what to say to girls that save him from being beaten in a back alley.

Luckily she doesn't seem to have the same problem as him. Putting an arm around him she steers him back towards the main street. It is during her explanation how to throw a real punch while telling him that he shouldn't start a fight he can't win that she suddenly stops.

“I'm Jennifer by the way. But you can call me Bucky.”

Frowning Steve looks at her outstretched hand. How does one get Bucky from Jennifer?


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes Steve doesn't know if meeting Bucky made his life easier or even more difficult.

After their first meeting Steve thought he would never see her again. They spent the day with each other, despite him telling her that she could leave him once she walked him home. Not that it was necessary in the first place. In a more subtle way that she didn't understand or just ignored.

Once his mother got home she luckily was way too charmed by Jennifer (It's Bucky!) to ask where they met. Picking a fight with three bigger boys because they were mean to a senior is not an acceptable excuse in his ma's opinion. As he would know in the next weeks Bucky shares that sentiment.

“What a lovely girl.” Steve is sure she wouldn't describe her as lovely if she met the Bucky that knocked down a boy with one punch. Or maybe she would. Everyone who saves Steve from being beaten is bound to be his ma's favorite person. “Are we going to see her again?”

“Don't think so.” And he didn't. Why would she?

So it was even more surprising when she was standing at his door the next day with a big smile. “Can Steve come out to play?” And the day after. And the day after that. 

Suddenly it's two years later and Steve can't imagine his life without her anymore.

Of course there was talk about their friendship. Especially in the beginning. A sweet girl like Bucky shouldn't hang out with Steve. Looking past him being sick all the time, people of course know that he always gets into trouble. And now he pulls Bucky into it too. No idea where people get the impression that she is innocent in all this. People are too easily fooled by her smile.

“Let's go see that new movie.”

“You know I don't have the money.” He looks up from where his sketch to see her standing already. Of course she can't keep still for him to finish. Another half finished picture for his collection. “And you don't have it either. If you wanna buy that doll for Becca's birthday.”

“Who said anything about paying for it. The owner's son is sweet on me. He'll sneak us in through the back.”

He can't stop his sigh while falling into step with her. “Your pa said you're too young to be meeting boys. I remember. Because it was yesterday.”

“I don't know what's his problem. He has no problem with us being together.” Since he knows there's no way Steve would do anything improper with his daughter. Even if he tried, which he certainly won't, Bucky would probably just laugh and ruffle his hair like he's the funniest person in Brooklyn.

“And it's not like I'm meeting him alone. You'll be there too.”

“I'm your chaperone now?”

“No! Until Jack finds a girl for you it's just us two. His cousin is supposed to like art. You could show her your sketches.”

“Bucky...”

Ever since they both turned fifteen she seems obsessed to set him up. Since boys started paying attention to her she is under the impression that girls should do the same with Steve. Too bad that the girls in Brooklyn have a different opinion about it.

“You're not supposed to marry the girl. Be nice to her and you'll certainly get a kiss.”

“With my luck I'll get an asthma attack.” Not that it will actually come to a kiss.

Grabbing his hand she pulls him down the street. “But it'll be worth it.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Once you're not sick anymore you better come around, Stevie.” Wringing out the washcloth she continues talking. “She's the cutest baby you'll ever see. But don't tell Rebecca I said that. She'll just get sad.”

Bucky can't even remember how many times she sat by Steve's bedside. Often enough to joke afterwards that people were starting to talk about them. As if the whole neighborhood isn't used to them being inseparable by now. But usually she's not as worried as she was the last week. The sudden cold front took everybody by surprise. And since even the slightest change in the weather is Steve's biggest enemy it wasn't a surprise he got sick.

It started like every other time. Complaining between coughs he was put on bed rest. While his ma is at work Bucky would hole up with him trying to distract him from his sniffling and coughing and comforting him through an asthma attack. It wasn't until yesterday that his fever got worse. When the door opened today she was greeted by Mrs Rogers anxious face. The moments he wakes up he isn't even lucid enough to recognize her.

“You know. I found a girl for you. This one might be the right one.” Hopefully. Steve certainly needs a good girl. It's unfortunate that he's still waiting for a growth spurt. If those shallow cows would just see what a great guy he is. “You can't just ditch her. That would be rude.”

The only sound coming from the bed is a low moan followed by a coughing fit. Last time he didn't wake up from a fever it ended with his ma crying in the corner while a priest gave him the last rites. Even though she didn't admit it out loud she also thought he wouldn't recover. Nobody thought it possible. But then his fever broke during the night and he surprisingly got better. She nearly cried seeing his weekly smile when she got there first thing in the morning.

Of course it could happen again. His clammy hand could close around hers any moment. She would look up and he will tell her to get out of the apartment already.

_Only because I have to stay here doesn't mean you can't have fun._

_I have plenty of fun here, punk._

_Right. Go to the movies or something. Michael will be happy to see you._

_Oh Stevie, the thing with Michael ended ages ago._

But what are the chances? Not even Steve could have so much luck. Not knowing what to do she decides that it's time for a higher force. She hasn't prayed in years. Her faith isn't as strong as Steve's. Sometimes she's not sure if there even is something to believe in. But if there is she can't see a better cause than the life of her best friend that she could pray for.


	4. Chapter 4

One day Steve doesn't get into trouble. That would be something.

“There you are, Steve.” She walks over to him not looking directly at the other boy. Let him think she doesn't get the situation. She would have to be really dim to not see the way he has Steve cornered, but she's used to people, especially boys, underestimating her. “I've been looking everywhere for you.”

She doesn't blame Steve for wanting to take the shorter way home from work, but everybody knows that walking through here is only possible while keeping your head down. Something Steve isn't very good at.

“Babydoll!” And that's it. She hates the guy. “How 'bout you ditch the kid and let a real man show you a good time.” Definitely hating him.

If Steve were a little stronger she would have to tackle him for not throwing himself at the boy. Luckily a strong hold on his arm is enough to hold him back.

Ignoring her disgust Bucky giggles. Steve's confused frown is prove that at least he didn't buy her fake laugh.

“I would love nothing more.” Except basically anything else in the world. “But today is not a good day. I'm just here to get Steve.”

Stirring Steve down the street, Bucky is debating if she should just ignore the boy that's following them or turn around and knock him down. Although that would certainly not help this whole situation even if she were able to. This one is probably the biggest guy Steve managed to get in trouble with.

“Come on, honey.” He stops her with a firm grip on the shoulder. “I'm sure he gets home on his own.”

Both of them ignore Steve and his angry, “Leave her alone!”

“I really can't. Steve's uncle asked me to join them for dinner tonight. He's just here for a couple of days.”

“What do you have to do with his uncle?” The look he sends Steve doesn't make her feel any more inclined to step out with him.

“You just can't say no to uncle Charlie. You know how people from Chicago are.”

It takes him a minute to understand what she's implying. Once he does he cannot get away from them quickly enough.

“Uncle Charlie from Chicago?” The smile on Steve's face is totally inappropriate considering that they barely got away from being pummeled by that big ape.

“You could use one. God knows, you wouldn't have as many problems if you had a link to Chicago.”

And Bucky would sleep better knowing that she's not the only one looking out for him. One day his recklessness won't let him get away with just a black eye and a split lip.

“Let's go. There's no uncle but there is a cake with your name on it.”

“A cake?”

“You didn't think I forgot your birthday, did you?” It's impossible to forget. Not only because it's the same day the whole country is celebrating. “I spent the whole day in the kitchen, you better like it.”

“Is this a way to get rid of me? I would like to enjoy a little of adulthood before you poison me.”

“Shut up, jerk. It's delicious.” Seeing his disbelieving expression she adds reluctantly, “My mom helped a little.”

It's Steve's eighteenth birthday. Or course she made sure that the cake is edible. It's the least he deserves.


	5. Chapter 5

Another double date. Another disappointing evening.

“You didn't have to do that.”

The girl's face upon taking a look at him was enough for Steve to know that the only way to see her again would be while passing her on the street. Since she didn't make a secret of her disdain of being stuck with him it is surprising that the night lasted as long as it did. Probably because her brother ignored her not so subtle attempts to convince him to leave in favor of starring at Bucky.

“Of course I did.” She nudges him with the shoes she took off after leaving the siblings. “She was rude to you.”

“I could've handled it.” It's not like he hasn't bigger problems than a girl that isn't nice to him.

“But you don't have to. I took you out to have a good time not for some girl to look down on you.”

Like that's going to change anytime soon. He has better chances of growing another two feet than finding a girl who looks twice at him. One that isn't Bucky. It's not a priority right now, but once mom gets better. Maybe.

“It was fine. Thanks for taking me out.” It probably would have been nicer with just the two of them. “But I don't think he will want to see you again after what you said to his sister.”

“She deserved it.” She slings an arm around his shoulders. “Besides, I don't need him. You're my best boy.”


	6. Chapter 6

“You know we can't.”

Steve's not the only stubborn one in this relationship. She gave him enough time. It's time to make a decision already. “Why not?”

“You know why. People will talk.”

“So?” When is he ever going to stop thinking about other people's opinions? “Let them. It's not like they don't do it already.”

“I don't know, Bucky.” The way he's not looking up from his empty cup of tea is hopefully a sign that he's finally coming around. “It's different if we're living together.”

“It'll be fun.” Not to mention that she could stop worrying about him being all alone in his apartment. Possibly freezing and therefore one step away from a cold or even worse another pneumonia.

“Even if we could find someone who'd rent out to us,” he starts reluctantly. Finally! She new she'll convince him that it's a good decision. “I don't believe your family likes the idea.”

That's an understatement. “Their fine with it.”

Steve's unimpressed look shows that he doesn't believe her. Her folks learned to like Steve and they never tried to keep her away from him. Although they most certainly think he's not worth the trouble. When she told them of her plans they were more than mad. They know Steve is the least likely person to make unwanted advances towards her, but it doesn't mean they want her daughter to move in with a man when she's not married to said man. Her reply that she would marry Steve then, wasn't encouraged either. Well, Rebecca loved the idea, but she loves everything that involves Steve.

“Don't worry, they'll come around.” And she's sure that they will soon. Her moving out is the best for everyone involved. “And I already found us a place.”

Her grin gets even wider when she's confronted with Steve's skepticism. “Really?”

“A nice fella will love to rent out this place by the East River. It's near my work and you can meet other artists.”

“People will definitely talk if we move to Dumbo.”

“Like I said, they already do.” And it's not like she didn't suspect it sometimes. Nobody can be that unlucky with girls. She even dropped hints that she's fine with it if it turns out to be true.


	7. Chapter 7

Living with Bucky is surprisingly pleasant. Well, after a while it became pleasant.

Although before they spent the majority of every day with each other it was different once they shared the same living space. There were annoying habits he never realized about her. Once he learned to ignore the dirty dishes she leaves piled up and she in return stops complaining about his art supplies on the floor they could enjoy the new situation. The fact that none of them can cook well is a little inconvenient but other than that living together is great.

Her folks still don't like it very much. From week to week they change their opinion what Steve and her should do to make the situation less likely to be talked about. Although it's better to have only three daughters to feed, but they mostly want her to move back in with them. Or finally find a boy to marry. Last week when they went over for dinner they even made less than subtle hints about them getting married. They have to be really desperate to suggest such a thing.

Despite Bucky's assurance Steve knows that her parents don't like him. For them he's the sick, little guy that gets their daughter into trouble and is responsible for her not having found a husband yet. Even the suggestion that his presence is keeping her from meeting other men is laughable.

He thought that Bucky wanted to live with him to keep a close eye on him. To make sure he doesn't die alone in the apartment filled with memories of his mother. A week into sharing a place with her, he had another theory. Even though she tries to hide them Steve knows what's going on. The thin walls don't block out the gasps and squeaking of the bed in the room next to his. It would be difficult to sneak guys in and out with her parents and her three sisters around. More like impossible. She can't even hide them from one person. And he's deaf on one ear.

Sure, she talks to him about her dates. But the details are really tame.

_Thommy is a great kisser._

_Stan tried to get a hand under my blouse. So I broke his nose of course._

_It's a shame Max went back to Sally._

From what she usually tells him he'd never guess what she apparently does with them. Not that he actually knows what is happening in her room, but it sounds like more than some kissing. And she wouldn't feel the need to hide it from him if it's just some innocent kissing.

Actually, he is quite insulted she is hiding it at all. He would never judge her. And as long as it makes her happy she can bring as many men as she wants home.


	8. Chapter 8

“I'm going to enlist.”

Not that again. Bucky barely can suppress to give a dismissive snort. The couple of years when he finally shut up about it were amazing.

“Why?”

“There's a war going on.”

And then the war started and he rediscovered his obsession of joining the army. It's great that he wants to honor his father's memory like this. But it's like he forgot that his body not in peak condition to run miles around Europe.

“I know that.”

“And our country needs every man they can get to fight for the freedom of the world.”

She wants to ask where he read this terrible phrase. Hopefully he read it. If somebody is responsible of planting it in his head... It's been a while since she felt the need to punch someone because of Steve. And she just painted her nails. 

Instead of trying to dissuade him from that idiotic idea, she throws her own idiotic one back. “I'll go too then.”

“You can't.”

“Why not?”

“They won't let you join.” Bless him for not going with the obvious answer.

“Why wouldn't they? Like you said, our country needs every man and I'm way more valuable than a couple of the one that are going.”

The determination with which he entered her room is replaced with confusion. “You're gonna cut your hair and call yourself James?”

Seriously? “Not even I can pull that off.” On second thought she probably could, but she'd rather keep her real identity. “They're also looking for nurses.” 

“Since when do you want to be a nurse?”

It's not a matter of wanting it. Not that Steve has to know. “You don't think I can do it?”

“You know, that's not what I meant.”

“Good! 'Cause if you're going I'm going.”


	9. Chapter 9

It's just his kind of luck to get an asthma attack in the middle of enlisting. Not that it was going great from the start.

Once the guys realized that he wasn't just there to accompany Bucky the snickering started. At least they kept their opinions to themselves until she was called into the other room with the other aspiring nurses. The possibility to do something good for his country was enough to ignore the usual comments toward his stature and that a girl like Bucky could do way better than Steve. Latter was nearly too much, but he wasn't going to pick a fight. Not when he was getting the chance to do something useful. Finally.

And then he goes and suffers a asthma attack while standing in line for the medical exam. At least there was a doctor at hand when he couldn't breathe. Sadly the moment they were sure he wasn't going to die in the middle of the enlistment center, they escorted him outside. That's where he is waiting for Bucky.

He was stupid to think he could do it. But he had to try.

But there is a good thing about the whole situation. Bucky will not have to go. Steve knows she was just humoring him. Now she can also stop pretending that she wants to become a nurse. They can go back to their lives and never speak of it again. She is a good enough friend that she won't say _I told you so_ , but she might yell at him if she finds out he didn't actually drop the idea. Of course he will try again. Next time without his health sabotaging it. His most prominent feature is his stubbornness. Bucky always says so. His mom did too, when he came home with a black eye again.

“You could've waited inside.”

“Needed some air.”

She sits down beside him. “How did it go?”

He just gives an involuntary snort. Like she doesn't know. Inside they were certainly still talking about the pathetic, little guy who almost died before even getting to the war.

Since he doesn't want to see her pitying look his eyes instead fall to the papers on her lap. “What are those?”

“Forms I'll have to fill out and basic information.”

“But...”

Once he looks up she avoids his eyes. “I wasn't joking, you know?”

He knew she wasn't joking. And he was sure that she would have done anything to go with him, if the army actually decided that he was well enough to go off to war. However, it never crossed his mind that she will go without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know nothing about the American army. So everything that comes next is as vague as possible so I don't include something completely wrong.


	10. Chapter 10

It was a difficult decision.

She's excited to do something for her country. Even if it's just as a nurse. She would make a fine soldier, if someone just handed her a gun. She's sure of it, but well... Maybe it's better like this. It will be safer stitching up the soldiers than actually being on the front. Better chance to come back to Steve. Not that she wants to leave him in the first place. More than once during the training she nearly quit because of Steve.

Steve who thought it was more important to lie on his enlistment form – again – instead of spending the evening with her. With her and the twins. Benjamin is nice enough that's why she accepted his invite. It seemed like a good idea to spend her last night in New York with a double date with him and Steve and Ben's sister. Too bad he didn't mention that his sister, Julia is the worst. Who does she think she is? Bucky saw her disappointment on laying eyes on Steve. Sadly that's not uncommon, but shouldn't at least one of the girls, she wants to set Steve up with, see the amazing guy he actually is?

If they look past him being short they could see what a great guy he is. Such a big heart. Also a short temper and terribly stubborn. But he doesn't show it in front of girls. Even he knows that no one wants to step out with someone who always picks fights.

Bucky could have ignored Julia ignoring Steve. It's just for one evening. She was hoping to have some fun with Ben. And it wasn't one of their worst double dates. But once Steve ran off to receive another rejection from the army, the girl had to ran her mouth.

A _Finally he's gone!_ from her and Bucky was gone as well. Poor Ben didn't know what was happening. His hope to get some excitement for the night disappeared with her.

Maybe it's for the best. After the tearful goodbye from her family that afternoon, spending the night with Steve will be the best to end her last day in New York.


	11. Chapter 11

Who would have thought the night would end on a positive note? Everything he wished for finally comes true. He's going to make a difference. He's not staying behind like the useless little guy everybody sees in him.

Everyone expect Bucky.

She's still leaving in the morning. It's better not think about it. He'll follow soon enough.

Too bad he can't tell her. He would love to share the news with her once she gets home. But she won't approve. Knowing her she'll drag him back to the fair and demand they burn his enlistment form. Yeah, he's going to feign sleep. If she gets home tonight. She seemed really taken with Benjamin.

It's better this way. She won't get mad once she sees that he's as good as any other soldier. Hopefully. Who is he trying to fool? She will get so mad at him.

Stepping into the apartment he immediately sees that his plans of evading Bucky until they are both in Europe are not going to work. She's sitting at the kitchen table.

“Bucky? Are you all right?” Obviously not. She's been crying. And now she's trying to hide the fact. That's never a good thing.

“Sure.” The fake smile doesn't hide her red eyes. “Where have you been? It must be the first time I came home before you.”

“What happened?” Don't let her ask the questions. It's different to keep something from her than actually telling her a lie. “Did Ben try anything?”

“No. I left before he could.”

“Why?” The girl was a bit rude, but Benjamin was nice.

“It seemed wrong. You're my best friend. My last night here should be spend with you.” Taking his hand she pulls him nearer. “I'm sorry I invited them along.”

Suddenly she's hugging him. He feels his shirt getting wet, where her face is buried in his chest.

“Bucky?”

Between the sobbing and not being able to see her face he can barely make out her words. It's by the end of her monologue her having calmed down that he hears, “At least you're gonna be safe.”


	12. Chapter 12

After a while it's not that different. Sewing dresses back in Brooklyn and sewing up wounds in Europe. The blood and crying and occasional death was new. By now she got used to it. Which is probably quite sad. But she can sleep again. For some hours at least.

“Aren't you gals a cure for sore eyes.”

It's astonishing that men all over the world use the same lines. The same useless lines. Accompanied with whistling from the moving truck. They see a skirt and forget they are moving out towards the front lines. And not everyone is coming back.

“Bunch of fools.”

She's just glad that the Anna isn't fooled by the guys either. The last thing Bucky needs is romantic drama around herself. Even if it is secondhand drama. Anna and her don't speak much, but she considers them friends. As much as you can become friends between occasional shared shifts at the hospital and cigarette breaks.

“You're in contact with your fella yet?”

“Not my fella.” She doesn't even feel bad about taking up smoking anymore. Steve's asthma is not her problem anymore. “And no.” 

Steve's still nowhere to be found. Stupid, reckless Steve. It's like he just waited for her to leave the country to disappear. No one has seen him. Even her father asked around the neighborhood for her. Which says a lot. He barely spoke to her after moving in with Steve and stopped completely when she announced she signed up. It's most certainly her mother's or Becca's doing but the fact that he actually went out asking about Steve is enough.

“I can't wait to get out of here. If he's not dead,” Which he probably is. “I'll kill him when I find him.”

“Don't be so harsh.” Anna hands back the cigarette. “From what you have told me, he's probably just enjoying his freedom. You not being able to mother hen him.”

She can't fight the laughter. “I hope he has a better excuse than that.”

“Gotta go.” Getting down from the wall their sitting on she shrugs. “I'll send him a letter before we move out.”

Apparently the 107th is stuck longer in their position than planned and in need of medical assistance.


	13. Chapter 13

Sometimes he wishes his old live back.

People look at him now. He's not the scrawny, little guy everybody ignored anymore, but at what cost? He's a joke. Prancing around a stage selling war bonds is not what he envisioned when he signed up to serve his country.

At least the girls got over their infatuation over him. Once they realized that his inner person doesn't match his new body they turned to Buddy aka the Hitler of their performance. The women who come to the shows are enough to deal with. He looks like the guys Bucky usually attracts, but every morning he's still amazed that he can breath, hear and move properly. At least he didn't fall out of his bed in two weeks. The trick is not to roll over as much as when he was half his size.

Bucky is going to be so mad. So terribly mad. Happy that he's healthy at last, but mad that he took part in a dangerous – yes he knows it was risky – experiment to achieve it.

Steve doesn't want to lie to her about what he's been doing since she left. That's why he didn't reply to her letters yet. Which is getting more and more difficult. She tries to keep it light, but he can read the horrors of what she's seeing between the lines. Especially since in contrast to other person's correspondences her letters are not censored. He wonders who he has to thank for that. Probably Phillips. Or Peggy?

He hasn't seen her since he got this _assignment_. With her around it would be more bearable. It didn't take a new body for her to look at him. She reminds him of Bucky in a lot of ways.

Which probably isn't fair. He shouldn't compare them. Peggy is no substitute for Bucky. They are both great in their own way, but Bucky is Bucky. Ever since she left he can't help to see aspects around that remind him of her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part of the chapter is in German, Schmidt wanted a part in the story. I'll put a little summary in the end notes, but if requested I could translate it, although it's not that important.

“Jenny?”

Goddammit!

“Jenny?”

If he's trying to whisper, he's doing a very poor job.

“Darling, are you awake?”

“I am now.” With a heavy sigh, she turns towards him. “And I'm neither a darling nor a Jenny.”

Although the occupants of the cells change after every shift, Dugan somehow always ends up in the same one as her. Helping the injured men is part of her life, but she would also like to get some sleep for once. As much as someone can sleep while being cooped up like animals and being treated even worse.

“What is it? Did your stitches open up again?”

“I'm fine.” He nods to one of the adjacent cages. “It's him I'm worried about.”

A quick look confirms her suspicion. The gas gangrene case. It's just a matter of time until the guards take him away. If he's especially unlucky he'd still be alive by then.

Bucky can't say it out loud, so she just shakes her head.

“But...”

There is nothing she can do. A couple of hours ago, with the proper medical equipment there might have been a chance. But now there is no way. He's gone. Just as so many before and after him.

“You sure?”

The look an the soldier's faces around her are terrible. She may not be a soldier like them, but they are fellow prisoners and she would love to help every one of them. Which is impossible and dangerous. Anna helped a man too much and was shot for her troubles. As one of the last five woman in this camp she's already the center of attention for the guards. Making herself even more recognizable is not a good idea.

 

**~~~**

 

Der kleine, dicke Doktor ist genau so unnütz wie er aussieht. Seit Monaten verschleudert er Ressourcen und erzielt keine Ergebnisse.

Noch so oft kann er erklären wie nah er an einer Lösung ist; die toten Testobjekte zeigen ein anderes Bild. Nicht nur erschafft er keine der erhabenen und übermächtigen Soldaten. Nein! Das genügt Arnim nicht! Indem er immer mehr der Gefangenen und damit Arbeiter für HYDRAs anstehenden Herrschaft tötet, gefährdet Zola seine weitere Existenz.

Das Serum in seinem Körper hat seine Geduld für Inkompetenz nicht gesteigert. Keine Ergebnisse in der nächsten Zeit und das wird sein Verhängnis.

„Ich verspreche es Ihnen. Wir sind so nah an einer Lösung.“

Jeden Tag das selbe Versprechen. Es wird eintönig.

„Wie viele müssen vor der Lösung noch dahin siechen?“

„Zahlen habe ich dazu natürlich nicht.“ Dass er auch immer wie ein Schwein schwitzen muss. „Aber ich bin sehr zuversichtlich.“

„Nehmen Sie als nächstes eines der Mädel.“

„Ich... ich verstehe nicht.“

„Eine der Frauen. Bis ich greifbare Ergebnisse von Ihnen sehe, verringern Sie mir die Anzahl der Arbeiter nicht noch weiter.“

Außerdem spenden die Krankenschwestern den Soldaten noch zu viel Hoffnung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> German part:  
> Schmidt is done with Zola's lack of progress and waste of resources and soldiers/workes. Zola promises results in the immediate future. Since Schmidt doesn't want to lose more useful workers in the factory tells Zola to use the remaining nurses/women for the next experiments.


	15. Chapter 15

She's staring. Again.

He doesn't know if it his transformation or the effects of whatever they have done to her at the camp. He suspects the latter. She seemed almost fine when he found her. A little shaken and exhausted but still Bucky. She even cracked some jokes once they caught up with the men.

But then a mile or so of walking, she suddenly stopped in her tracks grabbed his arm and looked up at him. “Is it really you?”

“Of course, it's me.” Not exactly caring what the man around them might think, he took her face into his hands. “You got out. It's over.”

“You saved me.”

“It was my turn to do the saving for once, don't you think?” With a smile she steps back from his hold and continues to march.

After that she doesn't question his presence or his new appearance for that matter. He's not sure if the silent staring is better. Once they are back in safety they'll talk about everything.

There is a cough, a very fake one, that makes him turn away from her towards the man across from the fire.

“So, Captain,” It's the one with the bowler hat. “I'll take it you and Jenny here already know each other?”

“We're friends from back home.”

He shares a look with the other men. A look Steve knows enough from their neighborhood. “Right. Friends...”

Steve can barely refrain from rolling his eyes. Let them think what they want. He has other things to worry about. First and foremost Bucky, who didn't rise to the occasion to announce their numerous sexual exploits all over Brooklyn. And getting to know those men who apparently know her good enough to give her a nickname. Even if it is the one she hates.

“I'm not sure my friends would go against military orders to save my sorry ass on their own.”

Steve can feel the blush rising. He hoped nobody would question why there aren't other soldiers until they got back.

“Stop teasing.” The British soldier speaks up. Turning to Steve he adds, “We're very grateful, but we hope the consequences won't be to harsh.”

He tried to push aside the thought of it, but there are consequences waiting for him. A quick glance back at a smiling Bucky in a coat that's too large on her and he's ready to face whatever Phillips has probably already planned for him.


	16. Chapter 16

She should never have left Brooklyn.

The moment she did Steve signed up to be experimented on. But what did she expect? Obviously Steve agrees to a dangerous procedure just so he can join the army. Luckily it worked.

She can't imagine coming home and him being gone. The army would have buried all evidence. And Bucky would have wondered for the rest of her life what happened to her best friend. Drowning the last of her drink she realizes that she wouldn't have had any opportunity to wonder about Steve if it didn't work out. She'd either be still strapped to the table slipping in and out of consciousness or she would have already be dead. Which would have been way better than enduring more of the pain the fat, little German put her through.

She looks over to the table where Steve is sitting and laughing with his new team. He's healthy and living his dream of serving his country. And he saved her. Still, she preferred him save back home. In Brooklyn he'd get into fights or ends up with a cold. She had planned for that. The neighbors and her sisters were to check up on him regularly which would have worked if he didn't disappear like he did. Here she can't watch over him. Whatever they did to him probably does not save him from bullets and those new weapons they were forced to make in the factory.

She takes her eyes from the table in time to see Carter slide into the stool beside her. “You look better already.” In that red dress and the meticulous make-up Carter's words could be mocking, but Bucky thinks she's just trying to be nice. Or she doesn't understand British sarcasm.

“That's not true.” The scowl that appears on her face makes Bucky add, “But I appreciate your lie.”

It's great that Steve found a girl. It really is. After the non-stop talking about Jack from Steve's art class she would have started finding guys for him if he just admitted it to her. Since he didn't, she just continued to set him up with girls even though she was convinced he wasn't actually interested. Until she saw the little smile when Steve talks about _Peggy_. It's more enthusiasm than he ever showed about any girl before. Bucky is holding off on an opinion until she has the whole story. She's not going to approve if it turns out that she just likes Steve for his new body.

“I talked to Colonel Phillips.”

Good for her? She wants to say as much, but Carter probably anticipating such a response continues with an eye-roll. “Since Captain Rogers was adamant that having someone with medical training in his team is more than necessary and the men of the 107th talked about you holding your own before being captured.”

It's not possible. “Do you mean...?” Carter doesn't know that Steve never showed any real interest in her. For all she knows Bucky is competition for her. It would be easy to ship her back overseas and keep Steve to herself.

“Only if you're up for it, of course.”


	17. Chapter 17

It didn't take long for them to accept the idea of Bucky in their group. There was some awkwardness around her being a lady in the beginning. A lot of offers of the guys to carry some of her equipment or taking over her turn to keep watch, accompanied by confused and accusing glances towards Steve. Yeah, whatever. Steve knows who he is dealing with.

Peggy probably would have declined their help with a firm _No, thank you_. But not Bucky. No, the first few days she just did what she perfected over the years. Taking advantage of foolish boys. In contrast to her doing similar stuff in Brooklyn, Steve didn't tell her to stop doing it. He should have. It's different to get free tickets for the movies than rolling her workload onto other people.

Although she didn't share anything of what happened once HYDRA took her away from the other prisoners, Steve sees that whatever they did to her left its marks. That's why he didn't say anything. After a week she finally feels well enough to call the guys stupid and tells them to stop treating her like she is fragil.

“I'll shoot you in the eye if you offer one more time to carry my tent.”

“Gosh, don't be such a girl,” Dum Dum said and immediately regretted it, if the wide eyes were anything to go by.

Steve was preparing to break up a fight between the two, just when Monty and Dernier stopped their argument whose country is the superior, when she started unbuckling her pants. The men start glancing around nervously.

“What are you doing, Buck?”

“Proving a point. Since I am a girl there is nothing wrong with me acting like one.”

Not this again. “Please don't.”

The men apparently got over their shock very quickly. They are snickering.

“Oh Captain, don't spoil all the fun.” Great, even level-headed Gabe turns on Steve.

“Yeah, Steve. I'm even doing them a favor. Like any of them ever got to see a girl in real life.”

At least they take it with humor. In Brooklyn those words are usually answered with angry yelling, here they just laugh.

Oh great, now Dum Dum is reaching for his pants too. “Come on, Jenny. You show us yours, we show you ours.”

“No, thank you! This whole trip to Europe is a big enough disappointment as it is.”


	18. Chapter 18

“How 'bout that Agent Carter?”

While sputtering some kind of shit of not liking her like that and her being great at her work Steve turns beet-red. Meanwhile Howard Stark isn't even hiding his laughter at Steve's monologue.

“And stunning legs.”

“Bucky! No!”

“Come on. The serum did cure your eye-sight, didn't it?”

“Well, yes...”

“So, go out there and ask her out, before we get another assignment.” Bucky is getting them together no matter what he says. “The village down the hill is quite lovely. Go look at the church. Woo her with your knowledge of art, drink a glass of wine at the bar and then accompany her back to her barrack.”

Bucky is sure that Carter will do the rest and invite him in. No need to alarm him though. He'll be nervous enough.

The fumbling is a good sign. “I don't know.” Although he usually handled his paintbrushes and not Stark's unpredictable inventions.

“Put that down.” Whatever it is. It looks like a pen but for all she knows it's a rocket. “Do it for me. It would make me happy. After all I suffered I really need something to cheer me up.”

The scowling shows that Steve knows what she's doing. Since he always had a hard time denying her similar things when she wasn't victim of Hydra, it doesn't take long for him to huff and storm out. Hopefully his mood improves on his way to Carter.

“You know, Barnes,” Stark hands her the improved and hopefully not explosive rifle. “I like you. Those were some stellar matchmaking skills.”

“One of my many talents.”

Oh, the gun is great. Lighter and easier to handle.

“How about taking your own advise.” Usually by now he's already working on another project. “I have a bottle of scotch stashed somewhere.”

Well, it was just a matter of time until Stark found her way to her. She heard a lot of stories from the women on every base they stayed in. In Bucky's opinion Stark better not get hurt while in Europe because no nurse is going to help him if he does. They rather receive a write-up than help the guy that broke their hearts. He deserves it. He shouldn't promise them a better life if he's not going to deliver.

“Then what? You accompany me back to my room?”

“If you ask nicely.” He's a tool. But the smirk is so tempting. “Since there's no one else to warm your bed tonight.”

And there it is. Howard Stark the prick. “Excuse me?”

“I don't even have to stay over if that's on the no-no-list. Not sure what your arrangement entails exactly, but if Steve's out with Pegs you'll be alone for the night.”

“Like every night!”

The unbelieving snort doesn't make him less handsome. “Sure. You and Steve are not having indecent sleepovers. Got it.”

Bucky could spent the next hour denying it. She doesn't understand why everybody thinks Steve would go for her. Especially now. She's a mess and he's... well, Captain America.

“I'm all for you kids having fun while you still can. Since you're probably getting married the moment you step foot back in New York.”

“Oh, shut up.” Before she blushes thinking about the little folder under her bed in Brooklyn. “Give me the scotch and we'll see where we go from there.”

“Like I said, I like you, Barnes.”


	19. Chapter 19

Steve is not a fan of whatever Bucky has going on with Howard. Officially it's called a friendship. Apparently Phillips just told them to keep it down. Not like they are following orders. Steve should have told on them. The hour long lecture he and Peggy had to endure maybe would have helped with that. So embarrassing. _You better wrap it up!_ And boring.

Sure, Bucky seems happier. When she's laughing now, it isn't the fake one she used ever since he found her at the HYDRA base. Peggy says he's jealous, but that's not it. It's just that there is a increase of explosions in Howard's workshop when they are together. When they are back in base, it's to strengthen up for the next mission not to get in unnecessary trouble.

There is still a smudge of ash on her right cheek when she slides into the chair next to him. And her ponytail didn't look as messy when she went into the workshop. At least the occasional fire is the only trouble she got herself into with Stark until now.

“Your Ma won't be happy with her grandchild's exploding toys.”

The guys think it's funny. Bucky not so much if she pulls away his meal. Even now, that he isn't constantly on the brink of death, Bucky sometimes tries to sneak him food.

“At least my kid will have a flying car.” She slaps his hand away when he reaches for the tray. “And yours will be stuck with a funny accent.”

“Don't drag my beautiful language into your domestic quarrel.” Monty's plead starts an argument about the most beautiful language. Dernier is probably going to win even though he still refuses to talk English with them.

“Seriously, Steve. What's the problem. You like Howard.” Somehow she manages to spread the smudge even more.

“I do.” He really does. Howard is a little pompous but funny and not so arrogant as one might think. “But I'm not sure he's right for you.”

“Not right for what? I'm not going to marry him.”

“Why not?” He's great and you like him.”

Wait! He's contradicting himself. Bucky's eye rolling shows that she comes to the same conclusion.

“Make up your damn mind.”

“I just mean, why not marry each other if you get along?”

“Howard Stark can do better than me.”

“That's not true!” Every guy would be lucky to have Bucky as his girl. He doesn't know why she would say such a thing. Unless. Steve is going to kill him. “Did Howard say he can do better than you?”

Considering that he guys are suddenly in a hurry to leave indicates that he sounds a little to angry. They didn't reach a decision in their argument, but concluded that German is the least beautiful language.

“Despite what everyone things, he doesn't have a death wish.”

“But why would you say such a thing?”

“I'm just not marriage material. Why do you think they turned me into a boy in the comics?”

“So children could relate better?”

“Or because nobody wants Captain America to associate with an nurse he's been living with in Brooklyn and he drags around to hang out with him and his team.”

That cannot be right. Bucky is a valuable part of the Commandos.

“Howard is a genius who will have a valuable part in winning this war. There's no way he'll marry a poor girl from Brooklyn with a questionable history. It's the same reason Carter is nowhere to be found in the comics.”

“What?” Steve is still hung up on thinking that the army might think Bucky, the Bucky he knows, isn't good enough to be Captain America's best friend.

“Do you think they will let you marry a British girl? Once the war ends, you'll be shipped back to New York and introduce to some nice wholesome American gal.”

“We'll see about that.” By now everybody should know that he's not good at following orders. Besides, he's not sure he wants to marry Peggy. Or Peggy him for that matter. She has so many plans. Steve's not sure if being his wife is one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr: [insertfandomname](http://insertfandomname.tumblr.com/)


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